Let's give credit where credit is due: DeBeers and Tiffany have done a flawless job in marketing diamonds on classic settings (and the requisite blue box) as the premium way that a successful bachelor can prove his love to his future bride. They have even built in the idea that a man must either fork out three months of his gross salary to back his sincerest utterings of love or risk being seen as, at best, "cheap & embarrassing" by the bride's family and friends, or at the dreaded worst, as " not loving me enough to give me the best"... gulp!
So powerful are their billion dollar ad campaigns that only a valiant few are willing to stand up to the seductively whispering beast to pronounce once and for all, "No! I don't believe you! Love is what we make of it! Love is ours to define! Get thee behind me, Beast!".
But those few, those valiant heroes of love, when the glowing embers settle about their laurelled feet, will face each other and know what love is. It can't be bought. It can't be defined. It can't be put into a box- even if it is blue. Their hearts will fill with their own secrets- the little things that bind them. One will pour the totality of their being into the other but not be left dry. Because the greatest secret of true love is that while one risks an empty, dry soul, bereft and stinging with thirst, the other is miraculously pouring their own precious souls into them, blissfully, blithely sure that they, too, will be rescued from their selfless folly.
Flushed with their own confidence, these few are the pioneers of a new way (or perhaps the oldest way) of showing their love for one another- they actually notice the human before them and recognize the human passions of their spouse to be. They notice that their partner loves tulips, or dangling earrings (as opposed to post), or that they love yoga or riding a motor cycle. Perhaps they fell in love scaling the mountains. Or riding around Lake Michigan together. Perhaps they just love walking the beach at sunset. They know they will not be young forever- but they don't care. In fact, it is this thought that makes them happy. They will conquer their worlds, one gardened tulip at a time, as their hands wrinkle and spot together under the baking sun. Sometimes, their gloved hands will touch and they will smile, adoring the same face year after year. So happy to be imperfect together. And they will know that there will come a day that one of them will not be there- and this thought they will push deeply back, it being the greatest fear they know.
It is these few who will choose a different way for their love. They show it in their choices of wedding jewelry- they want something that reflects their passions, not the passion for money hiding behind glossy, full page ads. They want their little secret loves to be memorialized forever in their rings so that they will always remember their youth together, their story, their utter consideration for one another. They want to remember the human before them. Because they never can push that frightening thought deep enough- the day will surely come. But this ring will always be with them, to help them relive the wonder of their endless love- until they come together once more.
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